It's only a year.....it's only a year...

I haven't been on in a while. To much to take in in such a short period of time. In the past 2 months we have went from trying to reclass to orders to Fort Carson to a deployment to Afghanistan. When we got those orders to Carson I about died. We have been at Ft. Jackson for a little over 2 years. I have loved my time here. That's another blog another day though...right now I need to get these feelings out of my head. Everyone kept telling us how lucky we were- CARSON!! This is like everyone's number one...its the cream of the crop..the top of a wish list. This is like the holg grail of army posts :) So we were feeling very fortunate to have been blessed with such an amazing post. After 4 years in Germany and 2 at Jackson- it's time for us to finally see what the "real" army is about I guess. Not even 72 hours after having those orders Ty called to try to find out some information. Guy on phone: "You got family" Ty: "yea" Guy: "Kids?" Ty: "Yea" Guy: "Well I feel bad for you cause your deploying to Afghanistan as soon as you get here" Me: "WTF!!!!" As soon as Ty called and told me I broke down. I literally lost my breathe. I should metion that we have never experienced a deployment. We went from basic->AIT->Support unit -> TRADOC....now a deployment. I have been with Ty since I was 16. We are high school sweethearts. We became parents right out of high school and have managed to beat the statistic. I love him...he drives me out of my mind...but I love him. He is my best friend, my everything and I can not imagine how I am even going to exist for the next year without him. I'm terrified, all the what ifs hit me about 200 times a day. I know he'll be okay, I know he'll make it back and I know that we'll have the next 70 years to hang out and annoy each other. But a YEAR...a FREAKIN YEAR? How do I do that? I have been told I'm lucky this is my first deployment...but I don't think any of us are lucky. This isn't a competition of whose life sucks the most. We are suppose to be a sisterhood that stands beside each other and helps to hold our families together while our "other half's" are away. I just want to make it through this year..I just want to hold my husband again....I wish I could just sleep the year away... But the fact is that a year is going to pass. That's all of our birthdays, an anniversary, Christmas, Thanksgiving, July fourth, Halloween, a New Years kiss.....everything. But I know I'm strong and I know I'll get through this. It's only a year...it's only a year..it's only a year.............